Recipe for Disaster
by Fleur Fiore
Summary: Wormtail is caught, Sirius is free... and Snape has a little accident with a Time-Turner. Third Year AU. Warning for swearing, slash RL/SB. It's a bit of revenge against all those "Snape gets guardianship of Harry and is mean to him" fics.


Harry bounded into Lupin's office, not stopping to knock, and threw himself at a tall, black-haired wizard sitting in one of the armchairs.

"Oomf... Harry, let me breathe."

"You're free, you're free, you're free, you're free, you're --"

"Free. I know. Harry..."

Harry loosened his fierce hug and raised his head out of Sirius' long, wild hair. He frowned, because Sirius had a distinctly unhappy look. "Is something wrong?"

Sirius exchanged a look with Lupin, who shook his head.

Harry looked from one to the other, even as he climbed off Sirius' lap, where he had landed moments earlier, and backed away a step or two. Lupin looked just as tense as Sirius, his arms folded tightly over his chest.

"Has something happened?" Harry's heart was flip-flopping wildly, all kinds of awful thoughts running through his mind. He had run all the way from the Great Hall, clutching the Daily Prophet in his hand, the news of Sirius' pardon giving his feet wings. He couldn't imagine why Sirius had such a dreadful expression on his face, or why he was frowning at Lupin like that. "Is it Wormtail?"

"Given the Kiss last night," Sirius said with a disgusted huff. "Good fucking riddance."

"Sirius!"

Sirius huffed again. "Sorry."

Harry bit his lip. "What, then?"

"Snape." Sirius spat the name out with such venom that Harry almost took another step back before catching himself. "It's Snape."

"Be reasonable, Sirius. It wasn't his fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's yours, though I --"

"My fault...!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyes blazing. He half rose out of his seat, bringing his face more on level with Lupin's. "Whose side are _you_ on?"

"You didn't let me finish. I was going to say the result was unintended and I don't believe you aimed to hurt him badly."

Sirius looked incredulous. "You don't believe...? Are you quite mad?"

Lupin frowned. "Perhaps I should have said I _hope_ you weren't aiming to hurt him badly. I was also going to point out that the Ministry had no proof you --"

"Oh, let's drop it," Sirius said, throwing himself back into his chair. "I'm done arguing with you."

There was a long, ugly silence, during which Harry considered backing slowly out of Lupin's office, but was too afraid to move from where he was.

"Anyway, it makes no difference now," Sirius said suddenly, startling both Lupin and Harry. "It makes no difference at all."

Lupin sighed and shook his head, and said nothing.

Sirius sat up a little straighter and looked at Harry. It was obvious he was trying to put a smile on, but the effect was rather gruesome. "Good news, Harry. The Ministry gave you to me. Dumbledore put up a fuss, but your parents' will was rock solid."

It took Harry a moment to comprehend what Sirius had said, such was the difference between the words and the look on the man's face. When he did finally understand, he could only stare dumbly, struck mute.

"All right, there?" Sirius asked, his forced smile faltering. "You did say you wanted to live with me, didn't you?"

If Harry had not already tried it, he would have launched himself at Sirius again, but neither anything that had happened since he'd come into Lupin's office nor the expression on Sirius' face suggested to him that it was wise to do so. His heart was being squeezed painfully, as if his chest had grown too small for it. His voice came out strangled. "Do you want me to live with you?"

"Now you've done it," Lupin muttered, shaking his head again. Aloud, and to Harry, he said, "Of course he does, Harry. We both do. It's just that right now isn't a good time to talk about this. There's been a bit of a troubling development..."

Sirius snorted. "Troubling. Right." Then, under Lupin's glare, he tried to smile at Harry again. "Of course I want you. You belong with me. If you don't mind a wreck of a house and working your tail off to make it habitable, I'll even take you as soon as school's over... I warn you it might be best to stay with your Aunt for a while, until we get the worst of it sorted out."

"No!" Harry exclaimed, horrified by the very thought. If he was free from the Dursleys, he meant to be free of them as soon as he possibly could be. The idea of spending even an hour in their company when he could be elsewhere was an outrage. "I don't want to go back there!"

"Then you won't," Sirius said firmly.

Lupin was shaking his head again, but Sirius seemed to be pointedly ignoring him. There was another silence, not much better than the previous one.

"But..." Harry began cautiously, "if that's the good news, then... what's the bad?" He couldn't understand what could have possibly marred what to him felt like a glorious morning, with Sirius' pardon front page news, Wormtail gone for good, and Harry going to live with Sirius instead of his hateful relatives.

Once again, Sirius and Lupin exchanged a grim look, and neither one spoke.

"It's Snape, right? You said something about Snape?" Harry tried to think... tried to remember. He hadn't seen Snape since the terrible night in the Shrieking Shack, but neither had he given him any thought since then. "Is he hurt badly?"

Sirius shrugged, or perhaps that was just his shoulders slumping. It was hard to be certain, since he was now staring at the floor.

Harry forced himself to think harder. That night was a bit blurry, thanks to his close brush with the Dementors.

He remembered Snape tying Lupin up and pouring a steaming potion down his throat. He remembered Sirius lunging at Hermione, grabbing her wand, and then Snape flying into the wall in a blinding shower of sparks. Scabbers -- Wormtail -- made a run for it then, and they'd left Snape lying in the Shack....

"He didn't..." Harry swallowed hard, though he wasn't sure if the twisting in his stomach was over Snape's possible fate or because of what it might mean for Sirius. "He didn't die, did he?"

"No," Lupin said, running a hand nervously through his hair. "No, he didn't die, and it's a bloody good thing, too, because the Ministry is determined to hold someone accountable. The whole thing is terribly embarrassing, you see, and they're desperate to find someone to blame."

"I don't understand," Harry said desperately. He searched Lupin's face. "Is Sirius in trouble?"

Lupin looked back at him with a pained expression. "It's complicated, Harry. Can't we discuss it later? Sirius and I have been at each other's throats since daybreak, we haven't had breakfast, and we're miserable company right now."

The last thing Harry wanted was to be told to go away, now that he knew something had happened. Anything that concerned Sirius concerned him, too. He opened his mouth to say so, but wasn't fast enough.

"He has the right to know, Remus. It's going to ruin his summer as much as it will ruin ours."

Harry stared at Sirius, his mouth snapping shut.

"I suppose. Well, you tell him, then." With that, Lupin sat heavily in the armchair by the side of the desk, looking exhausted and pale. "I'm done trying to be the voice of reason."

Sirius licked his lips and glanced quickly at Harry, only to look down at the floor again the next moment. When he finally spoke, it was in an odd, clipped tone, like he was measuring each word and holding back three for every one he allowed out. "Your friend. The girl. Had a Time-Turner --"

Harry knew that. He had walked with her as far as McGonagall's office the morning after the Shrieking Shack debacle, and she had wept the whole way there, distraught and frightened over having lost the thing.

"Guess I got her wand and got that, too. Hit Snape with it. Ministry wants someone to blame."

Harry felt flood draining from his face.

"Can't let 'em blame her. Can't let 'em blame Remus. Took responsibility myself. Reckoned reputation can't get much worse."

The silence was deadly. Lupin was hunched over, his head cradled in his hands and his fingers tangled in his hair, and Sirius stared at the floor without blinking.

The silence was the only reason Harry's whisper could be heard. "They're not going to send you back to Azkaban, are they?"

A horrible, harsh laugh broke out of Sirius' mouth. "No. For that? No. Don't think they could get away with it, after throwing me in there without a trial last time. They just want to be able to point and say, 'See, something's been done about this.'"

"Oh," Harry said. It came out strangled, and he couldn't have said another word even if he'd known what to say.

"Yes..." Sirius laughed again, his lips pulled back in a sneer. "So he's coming to live with us."

Harry's heart ground to a halt.

Snape? Living with them?

In the next moment, a cascade of disjointed images flooded his mind. A man in a wheelchair. A blind woman begging on a street corner. Something from one of Dudley's telly shows with a man in a straitjacket....

"It's only for the summer," Sirius said, looking up at him and frowning. "He can come to Hogwarts when school starts up again, and nothing says we have to take him for any of the shorter holidays, so we'll be rid of him for that long, anyway."

Harry couldn't help but notice the glare Lupin had fixed on Sirius.

Sirius couldn't either, it seemed, because he put up a hand defensively. "I'm done arguing, Remus, so don't."

Lupin sniffed derisively, but stayed silent.

"So..." Harry faltered. "Er -- is he hurt very badly?"

"Oh, he's not _hurt_," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "He's as much a greasy git as ever."

"I... I haven't seen Snape at all. Not since that night."

"Hasn't come out of his room, has he?" Sirius asked Lupin, who shook his head. "That's fine by me. Wish he could stay there all summer."

"He can't," Lupin said grimly. "I wish you wouldn't make this worse than it needs to be."

"It can be worse?" Sirius said incredulously. "I beg to disagree, my friend." He turned to Harry. "You see, Harry, Remus thinks I'm being a bit of a git myself, but it won't be long before he sees things how I see them. A whole summer of ol' Snivellus hanging about... Gods."

Harry cringed. Lupin was looking like he wanted to argue, and Harry wished they wouldn't.

"Why don't you go see your friends, Harry," Lupin said in a carefully controlled tone. "Like I told you before, Sirius and I are not good company right now, and I don't want you to hear any more of this, or to see us behaving in a manner unfitting for adults ready to commit to providing you with a suitable home environment."

"Yes, use big words," Sirius said scathingly. "Good ol' Professor Moony."

Harry had the very good sense of leaving when Lupin pointed silently, his face thunderous, at the office door.

* * *

"Good-bye, Harry!"

Harry buried his face in Hermione's hair, hugging her tightly. "Bye. Have a great holiday. Write to me."

"I will," she said, her eyes shining. "Have a great summer, Harry. A _great_ summer."

"I will."

He hadn't told his friends about Snape, mostly because he didn't know anything himself. Neither Lupin nor Sirius had ever got around to telling him what the whole thing was about. His friends were happy that he wasn't going back to the Dursleys, because he was happy about it himself, and that's what he wanted to focus on.

"It's going to be strange not to sit in the same car," Ron said, sheepishly giving Harry a half-hug. "You sure you can't sit with us?"

"No," Harry said, reluctantly. He would be in a specially warded car with Sirius and Lupin and, he supposed, Snape. It was Dumbledore's order, because Dumbledore still hadn't got over the fact that Harry wasn't going to go back to the Dursleys and seemed to think Harry would never make it to London in one piece. "Dumbledore, you know...."

They both nodded. The train whistle blew, just then, and neither one had a chance to speak.

"Good-bye," Harry said awkwardly. It did feel odd to be saying good-bye to his friends on the platform. "I'll see you."

A few minutes later they were waving from an open window, and he waved back before forcing himself to turn away and walk back toward the end of the platform, where his own trunk and Hedwig's cage were, and where Sirius and Lupin were standing.

"I swear, if he isn't here in five minutes, I'm going to get him, and he'll be sorry he didn't get his greasy hide out here on time."

Harry looked from Sirius to Lupin, not liking the way they were now glaring at each other. "Er -- could one of you help me with my trunk?"

"Go ahead, Sirius."

Grumbling under his breath, Sirius flicked his wand, hoisted the trunk effortlessly, and disappeared into the car.

"Maybe I should go..." Lupin began, but trailed off, staring into the distance.

Harry followed his gaze.

There was nothing to see. The road was empty except for a tardy student, who was kicking up dust as he dragged a trunk behind him, apparently not caring what its condition would be once he arrived at the station.

He looked back at Lupin.

"We should have prepared you, Harry," Lupin said apologetically. "I should have done it myself, knowing Sirius as I do. The truth is..." He sighed, rubbing the back of his hand tiredly over his eyes. "The truth is, Harry, I've spent so many hours arguing with Sirius over it that I just couldn't bring myself to do it all over again."

Harry had no idea what to say to that. What was it that he should have been better prepared for?

"I hope you aren't going to take a page out of Sirius' book. Severus doesn't remember a thing, and it isn't his fault we're in this predicament. It was all Sirius' doing. He was rash, as usual, and now that it's too late he's sorry and looking for someone else to blame for his foolishness."

"Oh."

"It's going to be all right if you give it a chance," Lupin said, smiling a smile that suggested he didn't believe what he was saying.

Harry nodded, and they stood together silently until Sirius joined them again.

"So, there you are," Sirius said, sneering. "About bloody time."

Harry, who had jumped, out of habit, upon hearing that tone of voice, blinked dumbly for a moment before he realized Sirius was not looking at him.

He followed Sirius gaze and saw that the student with the dust-covered, shabby trunk had stopped just behind him. He had on a black traveling cloak several sizes too large, which dragged on the ground in back of him, long and unkempt black hair, a hooked nose....

The train whistle blew shrilly for the last time. Steam billowed from beneath the wheels.

"Get in the damn car, Snape," Sirius said. "Come on, Harry."

Pulled by the sleeve toward the car, Harry only glanced behind him once. Lupin was helping the student -- _Snape_? -- with his trunk, his lips tightly pressed together.

"Is that...?" Harry asked as Sirius pulled him toward a seat in the back. "Is that...?"

"Yes," Sirius said grimly. "Snape."

Harry licked his suddenly parched lips. He was sure he had questions. He just couldn't think of a single one, just then.

"Sit," Sirius said, giving him a gentle push so that he was forced to sit down next to a window. "We have a long ride, and plenty of time to talk. Want to hear about the house again?"

What Harry wanted was to turn around and watch Lupin and the student -- Snape! He just couldn't get over the fact that it was _Snape_ -- make their way down the isle. He could hear the trunk scraping over the floor.

He forced himself to listen to Sirius, aware too well that Sirius did not want him to look.

The train began to move.

He glanced out the window, where Hogwarts could still be seen. For the first time, he was not dreading leaving. This time, the end of the journey did not mean Uncle Vernon's angry, purple face or Aunt Petunia's angry, narrowed eyes, or Dudley poking him in the ribs the entire way. No cupboard awaited him, nor a bedroom with bars on the windows. From what Sirius had told him, he reckoned he would be working just as hard as he ever did at the Dursleys, but he was certain he wouldn't mind.

"Come join us, Remus," Sirius said, looking over Harry's head. "There's an empty seat for you right here."

Harry tensed, sure that they would either bicker again or Lupin would bring Snape over with him. He both wanted to and didn't want to see him. The quick glance he'd had on the platform, before Sirius had dragged him away, had not been enough. Just an impression, really, and already blurry in his mind.

A few minutes passed. Sirius was still looking over the top of Harry's head, eyes narrowed.

Finally, Lupin appeared. He was alone.

"Sit, Remus," Sirius said. He patted the seat next to himself. "Plenty of room."

Lupin sat, smiled tersely at Harry, and pointedly looked away from both of them, taking out a book.

Sirius shrugged. It was only because he could not seem to take his eyes off him that Harry could see the tension in Sirius' shoulders, and knew Sirius wasn't as unconcerned as he wanted to appear.

"Pumpkin juice?" Sirius asked, pulling out a flagon. "We brought plenty. Can't have the food cart in here, you know."

Harry shook his head. "I think I'll just read. Hermione gave me a book before we left."

Sirius shrugged again. "Suit yourself."

Harry pulled out a book on defensive charms and buried his nose in it.

For the first time, he entertained a bitter suspicion that his first summer with Sirius wouldn't be as brilliant as he had hoped.


End file.
